Friday, June 04, 2010

Huh. I Guess I Do Have a *Slight* Addiction...

So there was this test on Huffington Post called "What are you addicted to?" 


Okay, actually it was called, "The 4 Addictions That Destroy Your Dreams (They're Not What You Think)"and since I didn't see chocolate or coffee on the list, I thought I was set, but no.  I scrolled down and easily found my addiction, though I do think I'm getting better.








Here they are--










1) The Addiction to opinions of other people. As a society, we're addicted to what others think about us and how others' views of the world affect us.

2) The Addiction to drama. Some people are drawn to and consumed by any event or situation that occupies their thoughts and fills their mind with negativity, which often brings attention to them in unproductive ways.

3) The Addiction to the past. These people have an unhealthy attachment to events or situations that have occurred in the past. They're stuck in how things used to be.

4) The Addiction to worry. This addiction is comprised of all the negative and self-defeating thoughts that make us anxious, disturbed, upset and stressed, that hold us back in life.





For me, the only one that sticks to me (and only in certain places) is #4.




But as creative people, each of these "addictions" can affect your life.


Here's my response to these:



1) The Addiction to opinions of other people. As a society, we're addicted to what others think about us and how others' views of the world affect us.

****Thankfully, this is one thing I'm not addicted to and in fact, I have always held the belief that if everyone likes you, you may not be living your authentic life.  At some point, something you're going to do or think will tick someone off...and that's okay.

As a writer or creative person, you need to drop this one immediately if you have it as it will affect what you create.  At worse, you won't be able to create for fear of what "someone will think of you."  

Marvin Bell once said there should always be one person in the room who doesn't like your poem.  I love that idea.  

We should each have a little spice in ourselves and in our lives so that someone somewhere doesn't like us.  We weren't put on this earth to be blah and without opinions or beliefs.  Our passions, beliefs, ideas, thoughts, should show up in our work.  And our work should constantly be trying new things.

This is a good place to Ricky Nelson's Garden Party song-- you can't please everyoneso you got to please yourself .

And a note on that song from Wikipedia-- 

It tells of his being booed off the stage at Madison Square Garden, seemingly because he was playing his newer, country-tinged music instead of the 1950s-era rock that he had been successful with earlier, and his realization that "you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself".

***Just another reminded that you have to be yourself. . .and that bad experiences can produce hit songs.


2) The Addiction to drama. Some people are drawn to and consumed by any event or situation that occupies their thoughts and fills their mind with negativity, which often brings attention to them in unproductive ways.

***I think this addiction can actually feed our creative work unless it's taking one away from it to live out their dramatic lives.  But I think many artists can be dramatic and well, I kind of like that.

Though to be honest, I like drama from afar and not in my life, I avoid drama like I do cheesecake (I so hate cheesecake). To me, both cheesecake and drama offer the same thing, I never feel good after either one.


3) The Addiction to the past. These people have an unhealthy attachment to events or situations that have occurred in the past. They're stuck in how things used to be.

****Again, this is another "addiction" I think can feed your work.  Exploring your life from present back can offer material.  

I think it becomes destructive when you are always telling the same story and something become "your thing."   It's never good to arrive somewhere with your baggage in hand and to make sure people know you for your baggage, whatever it may be.  

Also, if you're living in the past, you're missing the present.  My husband always asks to me if I'm replaying a story when I was "wronged," "Do you think dogs or other animals relive their pain in their minds?" 

No, I don't.  I don't think my golden retriever is replaying in his mind how the cat swatted at him or how he was yelled at by my neighbor for running through his yard.  He has a bad experience, he has a dog treat, he moves on.  We can learn from that.


4) The Addiction to worry. This addiction is comprised of all the negative and self-defeating thoughts that make us anxious, disturbed, upset and stressed, that hold us back in life.

***This is one I've been working on.  You will see this theme appear in Letters from the Emily Dickinson Room.  Anxiety played a lot into the poems I was writing during that time in my life (years 2005-2009).  I feel I have worked through a lot of it, but occasionally those anxious thoughts appear.



Here's the article if you want to find your addition...


I didn't really feel the author explained how to get rid of your "addiction" than to just "not have it."  So it didn't feel helpful in that respect, but interesting to look at how these so-called addictions can sabotage our lives.


~



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